The Universe Has A Good Sense Of Humor

 

The Universe [Almighty] definitely has a good sense of humor…

coffee

I ordered this coffee mug for Mother’s Day, which reads, “Chaos Coordinator Fueled By Caffeine.”  I think it’s great!  Anyway, this coffee mug has quite the story and I feel the need to share it…

Now, when it first arrived last week, I was too disappointed to realize just how funny Life can be sometimes.

So, the story actually begins with the wrong package.
According to its tracking status, my coffee mug was “delivered.”  Fed Ex, UPS, and Amazon delivery guys/gals do not knock anymore, to avoid face to face contact.  Totally understandable; however, the  picture they provided me as “proof of delivery,” showed a massive package at my front door.  Massive!

I opened up my door and sure enough, a huge box was there – it could have held 10 coffee mugs.  It was heavy too.  Well, I was expecting other packages and I just barely glanced at the address sticker.  So, I opened it.  TOTALLY NOT MY PACKAGE.

I looked at the address label and it is addressed to my neighbor with no name.  So, to avoid face to face contact, I thought I would drop it off at our community club house and let them sort it out.  Well, I forgot, the clubhouse was closed!

Ugh, I couldn’t just leave it at my neighbors door, because it was opened and I had no tape to reseal it.  I had to knock on my neighbors door and hope someone was home.

Fortunately, someone was home.  Through a crack in the door, I passed off their package to them and of course apologized for opening it.  They were super nice, but goodness, their door slams loudly.  LOL

So, obviously, my coffee mug was delivered to someone else.  I contacted customer service who told me to call back, if I hadn’t received it after 48 hours.    Okay.

Well, later that day, I got a very loud aggressive knock on the door.  It was so loud, that I immediately thought, BIGFOOT!  Of course, I am joking.  But, still, I decided I should probably wait for whoever that was to leave, before opening my door.  LOL

After a bit, I opened the front door to find a tiny smooshed box (perfect size for a coffee mug) on top of my door mat.  Honestly, I didn’t expect to ever get it.  So, I am totally grateful that someone found my box and left it at my door, even though it looks like it had one heck of a crazy journey getting here.

I picked up the box and you can hear shattered glass.

My coffee mug was busted.  Actually, the mug itself was pretty much intact, except for the handle; the handle was completely shattered in tiny pieces.  Unfortunately, I can’t use it without a handle, because there is a tiny hole in the ceramic where the handle is busted (it’s a leaky coffee mug), so it downgraded from a coffee mug to a fancy pencil holder.

mug 2

I was going to return it, but it just doesn’t seem worth it.  It was very disappointing.  I sat it on my desk, filled it with pens and pencils, and moved on with life.

However, yesterday, I glanced over at it and just started laughing!

The broken handle on this coffee mug that reads, “Chaos Coordinator Fueld By Caffeine,” truly represents CHAOS!  

I LOVE IT!!  I will never part with it!  

It will be a constant reminder that not only does the Universe [Almighty] have a good sense of humor, but also that when things seem broken or busted, they can still have purpose and serve a very important function.  🙂  ❤

 

 

 

Getting To Sleep With A Chatter-Box Brain

Sometimes I lie in bed, anxiously waiting for my brain to shut up.  My brain goes on and on with random thoughts; chatting away excitedly, all while I just sit there, silently  watching the minutes pass by on the clock.  My brain often times doesn’t get the hint that I want to go to sleep.

I have an arsenal of sleep techniques, which include taking a warm bath, reading the words most boring books, playing audio-books & sleep stories, watching “Moving Art” on Netflix, and/or listening to white-noise apps.  In worst case scenarios, possibly taking Melatonin.  But, for me, the most effective way to get to sleep has been guided mediations.

Guided mediation is like a sleep-story, but instead of just listening to the narrator tell you a story, you focus on the narrator as he/she guides you into relaxation.  Basically, helping you obtain self-awareness.  Sometimes is a visual guide (like relaxing on a beach) or a basic guide to breathing and relaxing the body.  The entire point is to calm your busy brain and relax the body.

I may have shared this before, but I tell ya, I love these guys!  The Honest Guys, on YouTube.  They have amazing guided mediation videos and if you aren’t much of a visual person, just the sounds alone are peaceful enough to induce relaxation.

Below is one of my favorite videos I listen to that help me go to sleep.  I love it for several reasons:

  1. It’s a short video, only 30 minutes, but for whatever reason, I am out like a light before it’s over!
  2. The deep breathing exercise, in this particular video, is different than some of their other videos.   Instead of just taking in a few deep breaths, this video guides you along a breathing technique called “4-7-8 breathing,” in which, studies have shown to help the nervous system relax.
  3. This video also guides you through your noisy brain, by helping you return to the present moment, rather than floating off into the future or dwelling behind in the past.I have noticed that if I truly focus on listening to the guided mediation, my noisy brain does fade away into the background.
  4. The guide (Rick Clarke) speaks with a slow, whispered deep voice.  It is the whispering of his voice that seems to produce a feeling of relaxation, which is an interesting phenomenon, known as ASMR (Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response).  This is actually a new trend that is supposedly therapeutic for those with depression, insomnia, and anxiety.Even the popular App, Calm, has ASMR “sleep” stories, in which their sleep stories are narrated with a whisper.  For me, I personally prefer listening to Calm’s Sleep Stories narrated by Matthew McConaughey. 🙂
  5. The sounds are of really good quality and thus, I totally recommend a pair of headphones.  The sounds are perfectly balanced and serene.  The music is calming and the nature sounds are not distorted, too loud, or fake.I mean, to me,  there are some videos (and apps) out there where ocean waves just sound like tv static.   It’s terrible!

However, I have learned, that for this guided meditation to be most effective, you must put forth some effort, especially, if you have a really chatty brain, in listening to the guided mediation and doing the breathing exercises – otherwise, it’s no different than having a radio station playing in the background.

Last night, my brain was super chatty and I kept wandering away from the guided meditation.  So, I re-started the guided mediation with the full intent to focus on the sounds of the meditation and without even realizing it, my brain shut up (or faded in the background) and I eventually fell asleep.

If you suffer from insomnia or anxiety, please give this a try.  I know it may not work for everyone, but it never hurts to try, especially, if nothing else seems to help.  Please have an open mind and hope you enjoy.  ❤

Oh, another thing… The Honest Guys are so cool, they have visual guided mediations that are Lord of the Rings themed!

Change Is Not Without Challenges: Stay-At-Home Orders

How has your daily life changed since the coronavirus pandemic?

It is my understanding that the entire United States is under “Stay-At-Home” Orders (restrictions may vary state-to-state), where the only places open are those that are “essential” and “necessary,” like the grocery store, pharmacy, doctors, and a couple of restaurants that offer “drive-thru” only.

Where I live, we can still go outside, drive around, but social gatherings of 10 people or more are not allowed and we must keep a distance of 6 feet or more away from each other.  I don’t know about you, but I have no idea what 6 feet looks like; however, I gather it would be the length of my daughter X2.  In my opinion, that isn’t much, for that not everyone sneezes the same.  I’ve seen some gross sneezes in my lifetime! 

Life At Home
As a stay-at-home mom/housewife, my life hasn’t changed very much.  I mean, I still wake up every morning, enjoy a cup of coffee on the patio, read the horrifying news and check emails & stuff.  Then, I embark on my daily mommy/housewife duties.  The significant change to my daily life, is that my husband is working from home now, my Kindergartner has online schooling, and I must cook every night.  Yay me!

Our Place Is Too Small For Messes
We live in a very small space, in which, is more difficult to keep clean now that the entire family is constantly home.

Generally, I deep clean on Sunday and the rest of the week just requires a bit of tidying up, because it’s really just me and a pre-schooler hanging out all day.  But now, our place is a constant disaster zone!

Everyone is bored.  Projects come out, every toy imaginable comes out, and food crumbs everywhere.  Every couple of hours, we have to stop, pick-up, vacuum, and then resume.  Not fun.  Of course, that’s all part of adjusting to change and eventually, we’ll get into a better routine.

Online Schooling Is New
How does a Kindergartner do online schooling?  Well, we (including the teachers) are about to find out!

Last night, I was sent the schedule for daily lessons.  It’s a bit overwhelming.  I felt like I was in college all over again!   Good thing, I am not the one who has to do all this school work, but I can tell you, it sure is going to take a huge amount of work to convince a Kindergartner to do all this school work!

Creative Cooking
Due to people excessively hoarding food at the grocery store, we are pretty much limited on what to cook every night.  It’s always an interesting surprise!

Mostly, I try to do casseroles, so that I can stretch a meal for a couple of days.  Unfortunately, there is only so many casseroles you can throw together with just a few ingredients.

My husband went shopping yesterday and he brought home ground “chuck.”  I am not exactly sure what to do with ground chuck.   Is it like ground beef?  Is it even beef at all?

Although cooking is an adventure, I absolutely, hate doing dishes!  Everyday there are piles of dirty dishes and everyday I have to clean those piles of dishes, so that I can cook again the next day.  For me, dishes are the most dreadful part of my day!   

OCD Moments
My OCD isn’t going crazy.
I really thought I would be a super clean freak, but instead I am pretty 
comfortable in my own home.  However, every so often, I do disinfect our entry-way.  I wash the jackets hanging up, disinfect the floor and doorknobs, spray the shoes too, and then, spray the air with disinfectant just as an extra precaution.  It makes me feel better.  

So far, my largest OCD quirk has been the shoes.  I have this irrational fear that viruses and bacteria hitch rides on shoes and it drives me crazy whenever family forgets to kick off their shoes at the front door when they come home.  They are great at washing their hands as soon as we get home, but they are always so eager to play in water, they forget to take off their shoes.   And for some reason, our youngest doesn’t want to take off her shoes at all.  I couldn’t even get her to relinquish her shoes at bed-time the other day.  So, sometimes, even when OCD is at it’s worse, you still have to pick your battles with a pre-schooler.  At that point, you either wipe the shoes off with a wet cloth or suck it up and face your OCD fears (exposure therapy).

This Is The First Week
Anyway, this is our first week together!  There will be challenges here and there as we try to adjust to this new way of living.  It’s going to be interesting!   It’s going to be an adventure! 

I hope everyone is well and I wish everyone the best of physical and mental health!

How are you holding up?  Are you stuck at home too?   How is your OCD doing?  

 

 

When The Universe Has Plans

Hi Brains!  

It has been a super rocky new year!  So rocky, I tripped, fell, rolled down hill, into quick sand, but I haven’t sunk yet.

Shape 25

The Dim Brighter Side

I am always the first to recognize a brighter side, a new perspective that provides hope to something better.  At the moment, the brighter side is pretty dim.

My husband is being bombarded by some crazy Life challenges that strangely have nothing to do with him directly, yet are impacting our family in big ways.  The worst part, all we can do is just ride it out and hope for the best.

Life happens, but strangely not all at once; so the Universe is totally up to something.  Major change is coming and we just don’t know what to expect…it’s scary!  However, just because the brighter side is a bit dim, doesn’t mean it’s completely blacked out.

I Cried, Laughed, Cried, and Laughed Again

It’s been an emotional roller-coaster!  I am on this endless cycle of crying and laughing.  My emotions are all over the place.  Just when we are feeling better about everything, something else unexpected happens.   It’s crazy!!  

I got so deeply depressed about everything going on, I forgot about all the things that make me happy.  I forgot about blogging, my Netflix binge watching, and even the small things that make me smile, regardless of the tough times.

It’s okay to be sad. It’s okay to worry.  It’s okay to get overwhelmed by the “what-if’s, the worst case scenario’s, and self-doubt.”  It’s when we don’t do anything about the way we feel that becomes a problem and it’s just another problem to add to the rest of our problems.

Depression is no joke!  It can be extremely difficult to escape from depression.  I feel as if the entire world is crumbling around me.  Fortunately, after awhile, I have realized the world is not ending (not yet).

The brighter side, although dim, has provided me with enough strength to be the solid rock my family needs me to be during these strange stressful times.  Life happens and change is inevitable, but no matter what, at the end of the day, we always learn to adapt!

Breathe.  Accept what you cannot control.  Be grateful for all that you have.  Be kind to others and love yourself.  

How do you overcome overwhelming emotions in situations you can’t control? 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Hairy Blob Monster From The Drain

Today, I decided to deep clean the kitchen, well, okay…the entire house.

If I clean the kitchen, I gotta clean the living room, and if I clean two rooms, I gotta clean all the rooms.  AND, the worst room in the house, the room I always dread cleaning the most, is my husband’s bathroom!  He’s just gross!

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Tackling my husband’s bathroom requires a hazmat suit and all the harsh chemicals my OCD doesn’t allow me to use.  My OCD is so bad, I can’t even keep any harsh chemicals (toilet cleaner, multipurpose cleaner, or even floor cleaner) inside the house, with the fear, someone will get hurt.

I hate OCD. 

However, I have no problem keeping other types of cleaning products in the house, such as disinfectant wipes, glass cleaner, and environmentally-safe (to the sewer monsters) dishwasher soap.  But, it’s taken me years to allow those inside the house.  I do not like them, but they do not bother me as much as the harsher products.  Silly, I know, but it is a work in progress; one day, I hope to not be bothered by any cleaning products in the house- like a normal person.

MY OCD EPISODE 

Today, I managed to deep clean my house, with harsh chemicals, without having an OCD episode.  Unfortunately, the chemicals, it seems were the least of my problems.  IT WAS THE HAIRY BLOB MONSTER IN THE SHOWER that triggered an OCD episode!

My husband is hairy, well, except for his head.  He is slightly (to be nice) balding, however, I do not think the hair on his head is technically falling out.  From my perspective, it just seems as if its relocating to other parts of his body…to fall out.  This, is a problem for the shower drain.

I love my husband. 

Anyway, I decided today, since I am already in deep cleaning mode, I would unclog the showers.  Generally, some vinegar and baking soda does the trick, because for the most part, it’s just shampoo and body-wash clogging the drains.  Plus, who doesn’t like watching vinegar and baking soda react!

Unfortunately, my husband’s shower drain was being stubborn.  I went to the store and got this handy little stick thing (because I do not like chemicals) to try to unclog the drain.  Now, if you have never bought one of these, you are totally missing out on all the fun!

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no affiliated links

 

Simply, it’s a stick, with ridges, that you shove (takes a bit of work) into your drain, and with all your might (with two hands), pull out the most gross, nastiest, hair ball in the world!!!

The coolest thing, is that it works!  The downside, is if you have OCD…  The gunky gross hairball touched me! 

Gloves couldn’t save me, for that it touched the exposed portion of my arm!  My OCD bully brain had convinced me that no matter how much soap I used, no matter what type of soap I used, or how hard I scrubbed my arms, we were all going to get super sick and it was going to be my fault!

It also touched my sweater, that I threw into the dirty hamper, that my kids later knocked over on to the floor….oh mymy world was upside down!  Now, I had to disinfect the floor!

Irrational intrusive thoughts flooded my brain like crazy!

Stopping Intrusive Thoughts

Fortunately, my intrusive thoughts were interrupted by a phone call.   Earlier today, we dropped the car off for an oil change and it was ready for pick up.

Distraction can be an effective way to stop intrusive thoughts.  The drive to the car shop, cleared my mind, and acted like a reset button.  Just like dealing with a bully, sometimes, you just have to walk away.

When we came back home, I was fine.  I even managed to unclog the other shower without my OCD bully brain getting in the way (exposure therapy).

If this would have happened a few years ago, I can tell you…our shower drains would not be hair-free.  I would have broken down in tears.  I would have thrown away my sweater.  I would have scrubbed my hands and arms until they bled.  I would have disinfected the monkeys out of the floor where the dirty laundry touched.  I would have stopped using the shower all together.  And, I would have dwelled and dwelled and dwelled on my thoughts until I felt as if my heart were about to burst.

As silly as this story is, for some, the emotional fears stirred up by OCD can be super real.  It takes a lot of work to overcome the OCD bully brain, but with practice, I promise, it does get better!

 

      

 

 

 

 

 

National Bullying Prevention Month: Bullies Need Hugs Too

“Bullying is not acceptable, is not exactly the statement I believe is going to prevent bullying.  In my opinion, the best prevention tool is teaching today’s youth, not only appropriate behavior but also appropriate coping skills to maintain appropriate behavior.

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In my opinion, (and, it’s really just an opinion) bullying behavior is often times nothing more than an individual struggling to cope with an unfortunate situation or struggling to express themselves. Sure, there are a few genuine bad kiddo’s in the world, no fault of their own,  who need serious mental help; but for the most part, bullying behavior is a natural (yet, inappropriate) response us humans do when we simply don’t know what to do with our crazy emotions.

There are a zillion reasons as to why an individual may express bullying behavior and below is just to name a few:

  • Struggling to appropriately express emotions (for example: the boy who picks on the girl he likes or vice versa)
  • Feeling neglected or unwanted at home due to lack of needed attention (busy parents, chaotic households, new baby, sick family member, etc)
  • Being physically or emotionally abused
  • Being forced to grow up too fast
  • General stress
  • Change
  • Difficulty coping with constantly feuding parents
  • Parental separation
  • Simply having a bad day
  • Low self-esteem issues or depression
  • Personality Disorder
  • Other undiagnosed mental-health disorder, including anxiety or anger-issues
  • Strict parenting styles that restrict freedom of self-expression or speech
  • Someone else is bullying them

Bullies are often victims themselves, taking their emotions out on others to make themselves feel better in effort to cope with their own problem(s).  In my opinion, provide bullies with better coping skills to help them tackle whatever situation is triggering their behavior and you might be able to prevent further bullying.  Teach these coping skills in school to both parents and students, and you might be able to prevent bullying altogether.

The Wrong Direction With Bullying

Sadly, it seems as if society’s solution to the bullying epidemic is to shame bullies, severely discipline their behavior, place hefty fines on their parents, or whatever other counter-productive measures society thinks is best to prevent bullying.  But, I say…that’s wrong.  Bullies are often victims that need hugs too.

According to the New York Times article, “Your Child Bullied Someone? That’ll Cost You $313” , a town in Wisconsin are ready to place hefty fines on parents whose child is a bully.  The idea is to get parents involved in changing their child’s bad behavior…but, sometimes, the discipline applied by parents may contribute to further bad behavior.  I mean, not every parent who is fined hundreds of dollars is going to have a calm reasonable discussion with their child about their behavior.  In fact, some parents (especially, those tight on money in the first place) are more likely to have unintentional terrible discussions about how such behavior has negatively impacted household finances; in which the child ends up feeling worse (triggering more bully behavior) for that they now feel it is their fault their family has money problems.  Sure, the bully behavior is addressed, but not resolved.  And, what if its the parents, themselves, who are the root cause of their child’s bullying behavior– how does a fine resolve that?

Disciplining the behavior without resolving the root cause of the behavior, often makes matters worse- for everyone.

A Better Direction With Bullying 

There is way more to bullying than just behavioral issues.  Many bullies are going through some pretty heavy stuff that they just don’t know how to handle themselves.  They don’t know how to talk about it, solve it, or make it better.  They bully others for attention and often times, negative attention is better than no attention at all.  They may bully to feel in control, because they lack control somewhere else.  I truly believe there is a reason behind every bullying behavior.

Talking, listening, and understanding is vital to stopping bully behaviors.  Once the situation becomes clear, you are able to provide an individual with the appropriate tools and/or resources to become a better person and stop bullying.

Victims and those of authority, have different responsibilities when it comes to dealing with bullies:

  • Bully victims must tell someone when they are being bullied and make an effort to walk away from that bully.
  • Someone of authority (parent, teacher, guardian, etc), must then address the inappropriate behavior as well as, take the time to make an effort to figure out what is causing the behavior in the first place and take the necessary steps to help the individual resolve it.

In my opinion, bullies need help and if everyone walks away, nothing is going to change.

Helping Bullies Stop Bullying

The internet is full of articles on how to cope with “being” bullied, but there is little to no information on how to help a bully.  So, from experience, well, some experience, as a parent who had to deal with a child who bullied others to cope with being bullied, this is what I suggest trying to do to help….

  • #1 Give them a hug, because if they are expressing bullying behavior, they got some  heavy stuff they are trying to figure out.
  • Set aside some one-on-one time with your child and LISTEN to them.  Sometimes, listening is all they need.
  • Be understanding,  respectful, and supportive to their situation.   Your child’s problems may sound like nothing to you, but they may feel monumental to your child.
  • It is important to help bullies learn how to effectively communicate and express their feelings.
  • Let them know that it is okay to feel sad, angry, or confused, and encourage them to talk about those feelings.
  • If your child will not talk to you, it’s okay.  They are human.  You can give them a little encouraging nudge, but don’t be pushy.
  • Trust is everything.
  • Whether or not your child is willing to talk about their problems, it is still important to address their bullying behavior.  Let them know that their behavior, regardless the reason behind it, is not acceptable and discuss reasonable consequences if such behavior continues.
  • Reassure them that they are not bad people, just people who are making bad decisions.
  • Teach them appropriate coping skills for dealing with anxiety and stress.
  • Teach them alternative behavior to bullying.
  • Try to resolve issues that are triggering the bullying behavior (it might be something that is out of their control and need your help with).
  • Leave the victim out of it.  Most of the time, the victim has nothing to do with the root cause of the issue.  If they are part of the root cause, resolve the issues separately- keeping bully and victim apart for awhile, until each of them learn to work together to resolve their differences.
  • If your child will not talk to you, observe their world- Are they stressed?  Are there significant changes?
  • If bullying behavior is getting worse, seek counseling.

I Am Not Choosing Sides, I Am Choosing BOTH Sides

Nobody deserves to be a victim of bullying and nobody (bully or victim) deserve to struggle with their own problems alone.  Bullying behavior is not acceptable and it is our duty, as adults, to help today’s youth learn how to better cope with things that may trigger bully behavior.  Bullying prevention starts with us (not the kiddo’s), for that it is the lessons, tools, and skills that we choose to provide to our children that are going to make the biggest impact against bullying behavior.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My OCD “Phantom” Quirks

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I still have some lingering OCD quirks; OCD habits that seem to have been engraved into my brain, in which no longer serve any OCD purpose.  These are behaviors that I perform without even thinking.  There is no compulsive need or emotional suffering behind any of these left-over quirky behaviors; they are just simply habit.

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My brain is very much OCD wired, but I am in control.  I no longer allow my OCD brain to cause me “emotional” suffering.  Sure, on occassion, I still experience some OCD episodes, but they don’t last very long and are always triggered by stress.  For me, stress management has been the key to living comfortably with an OCD brain.

Today, I often experience, what I call, OCD “phantom” quirks (compulsive-like behaviors with no OCD meaning or purpose), lingering around from a time when my OCD brain was in full control.  For whatever reason, these quirks developed into routine habits.  I am guessing, as an ingenious way to beat my OCD brain to the punch.  Over the years, as I began to conquer my OCD brain, I became so focused on eliminating “emotional” suffering, I seemed to have failed to change some of the physical OCD behaviors (quirks) that morphed into habits.

My 5 Best Phantom Quirks

  1. When shopping, I always take the product behind the first product on the shelf.  There is no compulsive need to do so, it’s just a matter of habit.  Most of the time, I grab whatever is in front of me- I do not care, unless the product looks damaged or something.  But if I am in rush, I automatically grab the product from behind the first product- it’s just habit developed from an old OCD quirk.
  2. Vigorously Checking the Door To Make Sure It’s Locked  Before, I would wiggle the monkey’s out of a doorknob to make sure it was in fact secure and locked; sometimes, unlocking and locking again to be extra sure.

    Today, I do it out of habit.  The other day, in fact.  While running through my mental checklist – backpack, lunch, homework,  my hands were automatically checking the locked doorknob.  I didn’t even realize what I was doing until my daughter loudly interrupted my mental thoughts with “Mommy, it’s locked!”  Obviously, something I have to work on.

  3.  Not Reusing a Spoon For Coffee  I used to experience OCD contamination fears.  If you put down a spoon on a surface (even a known clean surface), my OCD brain was convinced it was then contaminated and I was forced to get a new clean spoon.  

    Today, after stirring my coffee with a spoon, I generally just rinse it off and put it back in the drawer.  Sometimes, I leave it on the counter for later and just rinse off and reuse.  But, if I am not fully in the moment, when I go back for more coffee, I will automatically get a new spoon- even though, I notice a perfectly good spoon sitting next to the coffee maker.

    Fortunately, I have successfully broken my habit with cups!  I used to never use the same cup twice.  Man, now I use the same cup all day!  Just rinse and re-use!

  4.  Counting Traffic Lights  I used to count how many traffic intersections were between point A and point B.  I don’t know why I did this, but I had some compulsive need to do it.

    Today, I am guessing it’s habit or perhaps it’s been embraced as a navigational skill.  Although I no longer actively count intersections,  I can still generally (not always, like before though) tell you how many intersections you have to pass through to get to your destination.  It’s a great party trick!

  5. Using A Knuckle To Press The Elevator Button  Not all OCD habits are worth breaking; especially,  those that are probably better for your health anyway.

    As I mentioned before, I used to have contamination fears.   One OCD habit I acquired was pressing the elevator button with my knuckle, rather than my finger, to avoid germs.  Then, I would immediately (as if it were an emergency) wash my hands or use hand santizer afterwards.

    Today, I prefer to use my knuckle instead of my finger to press the elevator button, because it’s a healthy habit (kind of like, sneezing into your elbow rather than into your hands).  I rarely have a compulsive need to wash my hands after pressing the button, unless, of course, it was noticeably icky or sticky.   Flu season is also an exception, I might seek some hand sanitizer afterwards, just because I really do not want to be sick with the flu.  Nobody likes having the flu!   

Maybe My OCD Brain Is Controlling Me From Behind the Scenes And I Don’t Even Know It!

Maybe, my OCD brain is subconsciously triggering compulsive behavior?  Oh, that sneaky OCD brain of mine….

No, my OCD brain is not controlling me subconsciously.   The OCD brain is a bully that is driven by emotional suffering.  If you aren’t experiencing emotional suffering, your OCD brain is not winning, thus, definitely not in control.

I truly believe compulsive behaviors are physical responses to emotional suffering caused by obsessive irrational intrusive thoughts.  If I am not experiencing any emotional suffering with my OCD quirks, then I am pretty confident these quirky behaviors are nothing more than just simple habits left over from years of actually performing compulsive behaviors due to frequent OCD episodes.

If you think about it, a habit is something you do routinely, and practiced enough, it is very difficult to break.  So, it is certainly reasonable to assume, compulsive behaviors due to frequent OCD episodes, done routinely, and practiced enough, could develop into normal everyday habits.

In my opinion, if you aren’t emotionally suffering from a habit, it’s not OCD (anymore).

Am I Just In Denial?

Of course, I am not a professional expert or anything-experty.  For all I know, I am just in denial of my OCD and I am still “suffering” from OCD.  But, if I am, am I really suffering?  Isn’t the entire point of overcoming OCD, overcoming the emotional distress caused by OCD?

I’ll always have an OCD wired brain (or, so I have been told),  and if I can re-wire my brain to be truly OCD-free…how long is that going to take?  Baby-steps, please!  Baby steps!  

If there is one thing I have learned on my OCD journey, is that OCD is personally unique to each individual.   Although no two bully brains are the same, every bully brain causes emotional suffering.  If you can free yourself from the emotional suffering, then that, my friend, is what I call progress in my book!

It’s truly okay if you cannot re-wire your brain back to normal!  Normal is so boring anyway.  The important thing, in my opinion, is overcoming the emotional distress (suffering) caused by the OCD bully brain.  After that, any OCD “phantom” quirks left behind, embrace them!  Embrace them like OCD battle scars!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Shopping With Anxiety: Not Always Bad

I am a late night grocery shopper, because shopping at the grocery store during the day, by myself, is a nightmare with anxiety!

I am not the only one who experiences shopping anxiety; my husband won’t even get out of the car unless the entire family goes inside the store with him.  If he does go into the store by himself, in which is rare, he comes out looking white as a ghost, hair frazzled on end, and heart pounding, as if he had to battle an army of orcs inside the grocery store just to get a gallon a milk.  Unfortunately, he doesn’t even make it to the dairy section; as that would be like having to venture towards the back of the grocery store into Narnia. Instead, he comes back with an 8oz carton of milk from the check out line!  You know, I am not judging, because it happens to us all!  

Peak Time For Anxiety Is 5pm

My anxiety triggers OCD, thus why I absolutely hate shopping during the day.  I can deal with a little anxiety, but once it triggers an OCD episode, I am done!  I too, walk out of the grocery store white as a ghost, hair frazzled on end, and heart pounding, worried about the most irrational horrific things in the world about a gallon of milk.  So, to save myself from emotional distress, I prefer to shop at night, where there is no crowd, the night stockers often sing and dance while the speakers play rock & roll, instead of the usually sappy music that is required to play during the day, and the check out clerks are much happier!  It’s an entirely different atmosphere after the sun goes down.

Again, I can largely relate to my husband’s experience inside the grocery store.  Although I enjoy shopping late at night, every so often I have to run to the store for one or two things before dinner time.  Unfortunately, 5pm at the grocery store is always crazy!  It is crowded with all sorts of different shoppers, from the old complaining about the cost of inflation to the young trying to buy alcohol.  There are those holding up lines over expired coupons, writing checks, or just simply talking about their day to a clerk who doesn’t really care.  The worst though, are the people who just got off work and are trying to rush through the grocery store like football line-backers.  They are hungry, rude, and in a hurry!  Personally, I don’t blame them, because they just want to get home like the rest of us.

So…This Happened

Every so often, I treat myself to a mud mask (scares the monkey’s out of my kids).  MUD MONSTER!  Anyway, I enjoy it, also my skin comes out smooth, fresh, and less “old and tired” looking.

I’ve tried all different kinds of mud-masks and my two favorite are charcoal and dead-sea mineral mud masks.  The charcoal masks are great for cleaning out pores and the dead-sea mineral masks are great for making skin feel soft, plus reduces dark circles and redness.  So, I try to do a dead-sea mineral mask once a week (if I am lucky) and the weeks I look absolutely dreadful, I do a charcoal mask, since that’s more heavy duty than a dead-sea mineral mask.  Although I am not really into the girly-girl things, I do enjoy mud-masks.

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I went to the store recently and stocked up on mud masks, but I didn’t realize, I stocked up on the wrong kind of mud mask.  I remember I bought them when I was making a milk run to the grocery store when the grocery store was super busy.  I had anxiety.  I remember two girls talking loudly about their business and it made me nervous, so I quickly grab the mud masks.  I saw “dead-sea…” but I did not comprehend the rest of it, “dead-seaweed,” SEA-WEED!  What!  I bought a couple of mud-masks with seaweed instead of my usual dead-sea mineral mud masks.

Shopping Anxiety Is Not Always Bad

I am cool.  I am hip.  I can try smearing sea-weed all over my face, why not?

I tried it!  Although the experience is not very pleasant as sea-weed certainly smells, it sure did make my skin look pretty!  I am not opposed to doing it again, but probably not something I am willing to do all the time.

So, shopping with anxiety isn’t always terrible.  To be honest, I probably wouldn’t try new things if I weren’t rushing through a grocery store with anxiety and picking up the wrong stuff every so often.  Sure, sometimes I am forced to exchange items, like the time I needed butter and quickly picked up a block of cream-cheese instead.  For the record, that was not entirely my fault, for that the grocery store had moved the butter section!

Making The Best Of Things

My point is, that anxiety is not always terrible.  Sometimes good unexpected things can come out of it.  If you go to the grocery store for lemons and come back with limes, I guess make limeade instead!

How do you cope with shopping anxiety? 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Everyday Stressors

I started listening to a 7-day Stress Management series provided by the Calm App (iOS).  The narrator said something quite enlightening; something along the lines that “us humans are not yet ready to take on the stresses of the 21st century.” IMG_0937

Stress is normal everyday life now; however, our Fight or Flight Response System is a little behind on the times. There is just too much going on for our Fight or Flight Response System to process, thus, our bodies are thrown into constant high alert making us feel stressed all the time.  Practicing mindfulness and changing our thinking habits allow our Fight or Flight Response System more time to re-evaluate and accurately process the world around us to ensure our bodies appropriately respond to the right stressors.

Stressors are everywhere.  From the moment we wake up in the morning to the moment we rack out asleep in our beds at night.  I don’t know about anyone else, but my alarm clock is my first everyday stressor.  After avoiding the snooze button, my alarm clock turns into a thirty minute count-down where I am having to rush everyone to get ready for the day.  Drag my husband out of bed and push him into the shower, so he can wake up enough to get his butt to work.  Argue with a two year old about which cereal she wants but never eats.  Coax my preschooler to join the rest of us as she whines about it being too cold to get out of bed, even though the house is comfortably warm.  Lastly, after everyone is ready to go, with just a few minutes left on the clock, I have to get ready!  Every morning is chaotic and I have the power to change it! Just by changing up my morning routine and focus on better time management, I can eliminate my everyday morning stressors.

What is your first stressor of everyday? 

Uncontrollable Stressors

Life is full of funky lemons and we can’t always control what funky lemons are given to us.  We can try to make lemonade, but all we get is funky lemonade.  Simply, we are often forced to cope with stressful situations that are out of our control.

Life is full of uncontrollable stressors, like traffic.  Traffic becomes stressful when it causes us to be late for work or somewhere else that is really important.  OR, like getting laid off; it’s just something that happens and even the best employees get laid off sometimes.  Another uncontrollable stressor, is being a scheduled speaker with a nasty mustard stain on a favorite white blouse just before the start of a board meeting and no jacket to cover it up.  Or life’s worst funky lemon, for me, is finding my textbook all chewed up just before an open-book exam!  We encounter uncontrollable stressors everyday, but it’s how we respond to these stressors that make or break us.

Always try to make the best of every stressful situation!  For instance, if you are stuck in traffic and running late for work, loosen your tie, roll down your window, turn up the radio and sing your heart out!  Despite being chewed out by your boss for five minutes, your job is still gonna be there.  Don’t let a little traffic ruin your entire day.

Overcoming the stress of getting laid off, is all about changing your attitude.  Sure, money will be tight, but when a door closes another one opens.  That sounds cheesy, a little cliche, but it’s so true!

That mustard stain…I say wear it proud!  It may be embarrassing at first, but everyone will understand, because you are human!  You can also get creative by covering it with a sticker, snag a scarf, or if possible, tuck it in.  Often times, because offices are cold, someone with a sweater will likely allow you to borrow theirs while you speak to the board of directors.

And, for the chewed up text-book…well, good luck!   

Small Breaks To Knock Out Big Stressors

Sometimes we can’t make the best of a stressful situation.  There are some serious uncontrollable stressors out there that just cannot be resolved with a little creativity and a positive attitude.  When forced to endure an uncontrollable stressful situation that cannot be resolved, we must find other ways to better cope with stress.

Really big uncontrollable stressors is a job for our Fight or Flight Response System.  Although we cannot do anything physically productive to eliminate a big uncontrollable stressor in our life, we do have the ability to take small relaxing breaks to help our bodies cope with stress.

This includes practicing mindfulness and acceptance, meditating, reading, taking a walk, exercise, having a spa day, or distracting yourself with something fun while the body does its thing (you know releasing those feel-good chemicals to reduce stress).   So, even if we cannot eliminate the stressor, we can help our bodies cope with the stress the stressor is causing us.

Breathe and Smile

Whatever type of stressors are in your life, always remember to stop, breathe, and smile.

Do you have any effective coping skills for major stressors in your life? Share with us, so we can try them too. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Overcoming Intrusive Thoughts

There were times when I was bombarded by dark heavy intrusive-thought clouds.  I used to think that focusing on the intrusive thoughts themselves would make the intrusive thoughts go away.  I always dwelled on one specific question: “Why am I thinking such horrific thoughts?!”  Unfortunately, that question only opened a flood gate of other disturbing irrational thoughts that would only intensify my anxiety and emotions even more, ultimately resulting in hours or even days of extreme emotional suffering.

Turns out, I just wasn’t asking myself the “right” questions?  

What Are Intrusive Thoughts?

Intrusive thoughts can be nuisance little buggers.  They are unpleasant thoughts, mental images, or ideas that involuntarily pop up in the mind.  Everyone experiences intrusive thoughts, it’s not just an OCD thing.

See, the brain is constantly scanning and processing information, thus why some junk information may end up in the processing line with thoughts that actually matter.  For the most part, our brain does a pretty good job at pushing intrusive thoughts through without us taking notice.  However, we tend to dwell on thoughts that are attached to emotions; so if an intrusive thought just so happens to pass through our mind at the right time, like during a period of anxiety, we might accidentally lock onto that intrusive thought by attaching an emotion to it.  

Generally, intrusive thoughts don’t linger around for very long and cause little to no emotional distress, because the fight or flight response system quickly realizes these intrusive thoughts are harmless and doesn’t require an emotional response; thus, releasing the emotional attachment allowing the intrusive thought to drift away from the mind.

However, for me, my faulty fight or flight response system doesn’t exactly know what to do with an intrusive thought and keeps me emotionally attached to my intrusive thought until it can be processed appropriately.  Almost like, when a customer service representative encounters a questionable problem, but has to wait until their manager comes back to lunch to resolve it.  Yet, with OCD, instead of waiting for the manager of my faulty fight or flight response system, I get the moody on-call supervisor (my OCD) to try to handle it for me, in which, we all know just makes matters worse causing emotional distress.  I wonder if I can sue my OCD for emotional distress?  

None Shall Pass, The Never Ending Thought Loop 

Imagine you are stuck running in a loop and there is a toll booth.  If you ask the right questions at the toll booth, you are free to leave the loop.  If you ask the wrong questions, you continue running in an endless loop, dwelling more and more on your intrusive thoughts.  Also, think of the loop as a dirt-road track, because the more you go round and round in your loop, the deeper the track gets from continuous tread from your shoes. Overcoming intrusive thoughts is a bit like that…at least for me it is. 

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I learned that the more I dwell on trying to analyze my intrusive thoughts, the more my anxiety and emotions intensify, leading to self-doubt.  Once self-doubt kicks in, that is it!  My OCD bully has nailed me in the gonads and I am just left to wait it out until my OCD episode ends on it’s own.  This is because self-doubt is much more difficult to overcome than the emotions attached to intrusive thoughts.  Self-doubt makes the intrusive thoughts personal and without cognitive practice, self-doubt is emotionally painful.

When intrusive thoughts become stuck, you just can’t not think about them….

Asking Different Questions

It’s all about changing tactics.  If you do the same thing over and over again to try to solve a problem, you always get the same results.  Usually, if you change your point of view, you discover a new way to tackle your problem to gain different results.  So, if dwelling on the same questions is making anxiety worse, why not try asking different questions?  Here are some examples: 

  1. Instead of asking yourself, “Why am I thinking about these horrific thoughts?”
    Ask yourself, “Why do these horrific thoughts bother me so much?”
  2. Instead of asking yourself, “Where did these horrific thoughts come from?”
    Ask yourself, “Am I anxious about anything that could have triggered these thoughts?”
  3. Instead of asking yourself, “Why can’t I just let go of these thoughts?”
    Ask yourself, “Are these thoughts really worth my time and energy to think about?”
  4. Instead of asking yourself, “Who am I?”
    Ask yourself, “Who am I not?”  Remember, intrusive thoughts do not define you.
  5. Finally, ask yourself, “What emotions am I attaching to these thoughts?”
    And then, begin defusing those emotions.

Try to think outside the box!  Ask questions that are constructive and positive to help lead you away from intrusive thoughts.  And, always remember to take a deep breath!

It’s Not Always Easy

There is always more than one way to release yourself from your anchored thoughts, you just need to find which way works for you.  The OCD bully brain wants to take advantage of intrusive thoughts to make you feel like a bad person.  Don’t let it!   You may not be able to control your thoughts, but you can for sure control how you respond to your thoughts.