To Delete Or Not To Delete Irrational OCD Fears

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The most difficult thing with OCD, is resisting the urge to follow through with a compulsive behavior.  It is so emotionally painful, that the need to obtain immediate relief from the emotional torture is too much, and you are forced to just give in.

But, the remarkable sensation that courses through my body when I finally do take a leap of faith and fully resist my OCD bully brain – is undeniably amazing.

At first, it stings, a lot, like getting a massive emotional shot to the heart, but then it gradually feels better, to the point, it doesn’t hurt anymore.  It’s as if the fear was worse than the actual experience.  Once released from the agonizing grip of OCD, clarity sets in, and the mind is at ease again.  I believe that remembering such an experience, helps develop self-confidence, and the more confidence you build, the easier, over time, it is to overcome your OCD bully brain!

The Dreaded OCD Crutch

Earlier this year, we bought a vehicle dash camera for the family car.  Surprisingly, not for the purpose of my OCD, but more so, for my husband to use on his long drives into the city.  Anyway, I knew when I bought it, I feared I would back-track on all my progress overcoming my irrational OCD fears about driving.

In my opinion, a dash camera is an OCD crutch used as reassurance for the OCD brain, allowing one to calm their anxiety while driving and later check to make sure all, in fact, was well.  Overall, it’s a bad habit that doesn’t benefit anyone suffering from OCD.  It makes OCD worse, because you lose all confidence in yourself.  Confidence in which your OCD bully brain doesn’t want you to have- because self-confidence is power against the OCD bully brain.

My OCD Itch 

For a long time, I managed to keep the dash camera nicely tucked away in its cozy case in the glove box, going on with my business without an OCD care in the world.  But, I guess you can say, I eventually got the OCD itch….

I really didn’t start using the dash camera for my OCD, until I began driving my kiddo back and forth to school.  There is just so much anxiety having to drive through a school parking lot surrounded by kids, teachers, parents and pets (oh yes, pets- who brings their pets to school?).

Kids on bikes scare me the most, because they are the most unpredictable.  They tend to pop out of no-where, as if they just came through an unexpected worm-hole!  Teachers stomp through the parking lot as if they are invincible to cars.  And, then there are some parents recklessly driving through the parking lot with places to go, people to see, and jobs to get to on time.  So, it’s quite understandable that my quirky Fight or Flight Response System is on high alert, sounding off a constant emergency alarm!

So, like any rational person with an irrational OCD brain, I began using the dash camera.

A Destructive Decision

At some point, my sneaky OCD bully brain convinced me that I should probably use the dash camera as a “precautionary” measure against “crazy in-a-hurry drivers” who don’t know how to drive.  IT WAS A LIE!   My OCD bully brain wanted to strip away self-confidence and replace it with self-doubt!  That’s it’s evil plan!

Using the dash camera on a daily basis was a destructive decision against the war effort on OCD.  After a few days, I started to become dependent on the dash camera.  No matter where I went, whether it was driving a few miles to the school or just around the corner to check the mail, I needed it!  

Without the dash camera, I find myself circling parking lots to reassure myself everyone is safe.  I will waste gas to double back to reassure myself that I didn’t cause a wreck or something.  But, the worst, in which I finally realized I had a problem, is when I began lying to my family, about the need to go somewhere when there really wasn’t a need to go anywhere- I just wanted reassurance.  Or, lying to my husband, after getting back from the grocery store, that it took me longer to get home, because “the car sounded funny and I just wanted to drive around to make sure it wasn’t anything serious;” when in fact, I was just doubling back to ease my OCD brain.

I shouldn’t have to lie.  My husband knows I have OCD.  But, after overcoming so many OCD fears, I am a bit embarrassed when I regress like this; even though, it is okay to take a few steps back sometimes.   I am not perfect.

When All Confidence Is Lost

What is certain, is that I must knick this in the butt as soon as I can, because once all my self-confidence is lost, my OCD bully brain wins.  Self-confidence is extremely important in overcoming my OCD fears.

When all self-confidence is lost, extreme self-doubt will attempt to distort reality-it’s scary and emotionally exhausting.  It doesn’t matter what anybody says, the OCD bully brain takes hold and does a remarkable job of convincing you that you are terrible person.  Self-doubt can be so powerful, nothing is reassuring, not even real footage on a dash camera.  You eventually begin to question your sanity, as you dwell over and over on what it was that might or might not have happened.   Not knowing for sure, increases all the emotions inside, building anxiety, and causing overwhelming emotional suffering.

My first two years with OCD was like this and I NEVER EVER want to have such an experience like that EVER again!

Difficulties Letting Go 

The memory card for the dash camera is completely full and yet, this weekend, I was unable to delete it, in fear, something of great importance was on it.  “What-if” thinking set in.  What if something bad happens, if I delete it?  

Of course, I can just let it be, for that new videos will eventually override the old videos, but that often corrupts the memory card and memory cards are expensive- at least this one was; I later learned that I totally overpaid for it.  The memory card (SD card) for the dash camera, cost me about $30, and is the size of my thumb nail (and I have tiny thumbs)!   That’s crazy!

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Massive Dose Of Exposure Therapy Today

This weekend, I made an executive decision against my OCD bully brain, that I was going to limit the use of the dash camera.  The initial plan was to stop using the dash camera every time I drive somewhere; unless, it is somewhere, where I should probably use it, like trips to the school, because, that’s rationally reasonable, considering all the crazy traffic.  Also, I planned to completely resist the urge to do any checking, when I do use the dash camera.  Well, that plan backfired on me this morning- because I had no dash camera to use!

This weekend, like every other weekend, I had brought the dash camera inside the house to re-format the SD card (delete files) to start fresh for a new week.  I failed miserably of course, due to my OCD fears.  However, this morning, rushing out the door to get my kiddo to school, I forgot about it and I didn’t have time to go back inside and search for it- because it wasn’t where it was suppose to be (figures, right?).  So, I had to drive my kiddo to school without the comforting reassurance of a dash camera.

I was super anxious at first, but I reminded myself to breathe (deep breaths) and reassure myself everything is going to be okay.  Then, one by one, practice the 5 most important things I have learned so far about overcoming my OCD.

  1. Self-Confidence: I reminded myself that I am a good driver and a good person.
  2. Acceptance:  I must accept the situation of not having a dash camera and also, make the best of it with a positive attitude.
  3. Faith:  I must believe in myself.  Also, there is always a reason as to why things happen.  The Universe doesn’t want me to use the dash camera; obviously, otherwise, I would have had time to find it.  The Universe is helping me overcome my OCD fears.
  4. Stress-Management:  Breathe.  Deep Breaths.  There is nothing to be anxious about, for that I am familiar with the road and the usual traffic.
  5. Mindfulness:  When the brain goes on auto-pilot while driving, we sometimes forget what happens between Point A and Point B of our trip.  Sometimes, not remembering our drive (even though there was nothing significant to remember) can trigger an OCD episode.  Today, I knew I had to be 100% in the moment with my driving, so that I didn’t later question my driving.  Every time the mind began to drift, I redirected my full attention to my driving.

 

When I got back home….I was okay!  I had no need or urge to double back to make sure the world was still okay.   I also found the dash camera and finally deleted the files to start a new week.

In the future, I still intend to use the dash camera, but only if I am driving to places with a lot of traffic.  I also plan to resist the urge for reassurance with the dash camera (no compulsive checking).  It will take time and practice, but I am confident in myself, that I got this!!  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Hairy Blob Monster From The Drain

Today, I decided to deep clean the kitchen, well, okay…the entire house.

If I clean the kitchen, I gotta clean the living room, and if I clean two rooms, I gotta clean all the rooms.  AND, the worst room in the house, the room I always dread cleaning the most, is my husband’s bathroom!  He’s just gross!

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Tackling my husband’s bathroom requires a hazmat suit and all the harsh chemicals my OCD doesn’t allow me to use.  My OCD is so bad, I can’t even keep any harsh chemicals (toilet cleaner, multipurpose cleaner, or even floor cleaner) inside the house, with the fear, someone will get hurt.

I hate OCD. 

However, I have no problem keeping other types of cleaning products in the house, such as disinfectant wipes, glass cleaner, and environmentally-safe (to the sewer monsters) dishwasher soap.  But, it’s taken me years to allow those inside the house.  I do not like them, but they do not bother me as much as the harsher products.  Silly, I know, but it is a work in progress; one day, I hope to not be bothered by any cleaning products in the house- like a normal person.

MY OCD EPISODE 

Today, I managed to deep clean my house, with harsh chemicals, without having an OCD episode.  Unfortunately, the chemicals, it seems were the least of my problems.  IT WAS THE HAIRY BLOB MONSTER IN THE SHOWER that triggered an OCD episode!

My husband is hairy, well, except for his head.  He is slightly (to be nice) balding, however, I do not think the hair on his head is technically falling out.  From my perspective, it just seems as if its relocating to other parts of his body…to fall out.  This, is a problem for the shower drain.

I love my husband. 

Anyway, I decided today, since I am already in deep cleaning mode, I would unclog the showers.  Generally, some vinegar and baking soda does the trick, because for the most part, it’s just shampoo and body-wash clogging the drains.  Plus, who doesn’t like watching vinegar and baking soda react!

Unfortunately, my husband’s shower drain was being stubborn.  I went to the store and got this handy little stick thing (because I do not like chemicals) to try to unclog the drain.  Now, if you have never bought one of these, you are totally missing out on all the fun!

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Simply, it’s a stick, with ridges, that you shove (takes a bit of work) into your drain, and with all your might (with two hands), pull out the most gross, nastiest, hair ball in the world!!!

The coolest thing, is that it works!  The downside, is if you have OCD…  The gunky gross hairball touched me! 

Gloves couldn’t save me, for that it touched the exposed portion of my arm!  My OCD bully brain had convinced me that no matter how much soap I used, no matter what type of soap I used, or how hard I scrubbed my arms, we were all going to get super sick and it was going to be my fault!

It also touched my sweater, that I threw into the dirty hamper, that my kids later knocked over on to the floor….oh mymy world was upside down!  Now, I had to disinfect the floor!

Irrational intrusive thoughts flooded my brain like crazy!

Stopping Intrusive Thoughts

Fortunately, my intrusive thoughts were interrupted by a phone call.   Earlier today, we dropped the car off for an oil change and it was ready for pick up.

Distraction can be an effective way to stop intrusive thoughts.  The drive to the car shop, cleared my mind, and acted like a reset button.  Just like dealing with a bully, sometimes, you just have to walk away.

When we came back home, I was fine.  I even managed to unclog the other shower without my OCD bully brain getting in the way (exposure therapy).

If this would have happened a few years ago, I can tell you…our shower drains would not be hair-free.  I would have broken down in tears.  I would have thrown away my sweater.  I would have scrubbed my hands and arms until they bled.  I would have disinfected the monkeys out of the floor where the dirty laundry touched.  I would have stopped using the shower all together.  And, I would have dwelled and dwelled and dwelled on my thoughts until I felt as if my heart were about to burst.

As silly as this story is, for some, the emotional fears stirred up by OCD can be super real.  It takes a lot of work to overcome the OCD bully brain, but with practice, I promise, it does get better!

 

      

 

 

 

 

 

My OCD “Phantom” Quirks

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I still have some lingering OCD quirks; OCD habits that seem to have been engraved into my brain, in which no longer serve any OCD purpose.  These are behaviors that I perform without even thinking.  There is no compulsive need or emotional suffering behind any of these left-over quirky behaviors; they are just simply habit.

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My brain is very much OCD wired, but I am in control.  I no longer allow my OCD brain to cause me “emotional” suffering.  Sure, on occassion, I still experience some OCD episodes, but they don’t last very long and are always triggered by stress.  For me, stress management has been the key to living comfortably with an OCD brain.

Today, I often experience, what I call, OCD “phantom” quirks (compulsive-like behaviors with no OCD meaning or purpose), lingering around from a time when my OCD brain was in full control.  For whatever reason, these quirks developed into routine habits.  I am guessing, as an ingenious way to beat my OCD brain to the punch.  Over the years, as I began to conquer my OCD brain, I became so focused on eliminating “emotional” suffering, I seemed to have failed to change some of the physical OCD behaviors (quirks) that morphed into habits.

My 5 Best Phantom Quirks

  1. When shopping, I always take the product behind the first product on the shelf.  There is no compulsive need to do so, it’s just a matter of habit.  Most of the time, I grab whatever is in front of me- I do not care, unless the product looks damaged or something.  But if I am in rush, I automatically grab the product from behind the first product- it’s just habit developed from an old OCD quirk.
  2. Vigorously Checking the Door To Make Sure It’s Locked  Before, I would wiggle the monkey’s out of a doorknob to make sure it was in fact secure and locked; sometimes, unlocking and locking again to be extra sure.

    Today, I do it out of habit.  The other day, in fact.  While running through my mental checklist – backpack, lunch, homework,  my hands were automatically checking the locked doorknob.  I didn’t even realize what I was doing until my daughter loudly interrupted my mental thoughts with “Mommy, it’s locked!”  Obviously, something I have to work on.

  3.  Not Reusing a Spoon For Coffee  I used to experience OCD contamination fears.  If you put down a spoon on a surface (even a known clean surface), my OCD brain was convinced it was then contaminated and I was forced to get a new clean spoon.  

    Today, after stirring my coffee with a spoon, I generally just rinse it off and put it back in the drawer.  Sometimes, I leave it on the counter for later and just rinse off and reuse.  But, if I am not fully in the moment, when I go back for more coffee, I will automatically get a new spoon- even though, I notice a perfectly good spoon sitting next to the coffee maker.

    Fortunately, I have successfully broken my habit with cups!  I used to never use the same cup twice.  Man, now I use the same cup all day!  Just rinse and re-use!

  4.  Counting Traffic Lights  I used to count how many traffic intersections were between point A and point B.  I don’t know why I did this, but I had some compulsive need to do it.

    Today, I am guessing it’s habit or perhaps it’s been embraced as a navigational skill.  Although I no longer actively count intersections,  I can still generally (not always, like before though) tell you how many intersections you have to pass through to get to your destination.  It’s a great party trick!

  5. Using A Knuckle To Press The Elevator Button  Not all OCD habits are worth breaking; especially,  those that are probably better for your health anyway.

    As I mentioned before, I used to have contamination fears.   One OCD habit I acquired was pressing the elevator button with my knuckle, rather than my finger, to avoid germs.  Then, I would immediately (as if it were an emergency) wash my hands or use hand santizer afterwards.

    Today, I prefer to use my knuckle instead of my finger to press the elevator button, because it’s a healthy habit (kind of like, sneezing into your elbow rather than into your hands).  I rarely have a compulsive need to wash my hands after pressing the button, unless, of course, it was noticeably icky or sticky.   Flu season is also an exception, I might seek some hand sanitizer afterwards, just because I really do not want to be sick with the flu.  Nobody likes having the flu!   

Maybe My OCD Brain Is Controlling Me From Behind the Scenes And I Don’t Even Know It!

Maybe, my OCD brain is subconsciously triggering compulsive behavior?  Oh, that sneaky OCD brain of mine….

No, my OCD brain is not controlling me subconsciously.   The OCD brain is a bully that is driven by emotional suffering.  If you aren’t experiencing emotional suffering, your OCD brain is not winning, thus, definitely not in control.

I truly believe compulsive behaviors are physical responses to emotional suffering caused by obsessive irrational intrusive thoughts.  If I am not experiencing any emotional suffering with my OCD quirks, then I am pretty confident these quirky behaviors are nothing more than just simple habits left over from years of actually performing compulsive behaviors due to frequent OCD episodes.

If you think about it, a habit is something you do routinely, and practiced enough, it is very difficult to break.  So, it is certainly reasonable to assume, compulsive behaviors due to frequent OCD episodes, done routinely, and practiced enough, could develop into normal everyday habits.

In my opinion, if you aren’t emotionally suffering from a habit, it’s not OCD (anymore).

Am I Just In Denial?

Of course, I am not a professional expert or anything-experty.  For all I know, I am just in denial of my OCD and I am still “suffering” from OCD.  But, if I am, am I really suffering?  Isn’t the entire point of overcoming OCD, overcoming the emotional distress caused by OCD?

I’ll always have an OCD wired brain (or, so I have been told),  and if I can re-wire my brain to be truly OCD-free…how long is that going to take?  Baby-steps, please!  Baby steps!  

If there is one thing I have learned on my OCD journey, is that OCD is personally unique to each individual.   Although no two bully brains are the same, every bully brain causes emotional suffering.  If you can free yourself from the emotional suffering, then that, my friend, is what I call progress in my book!

It’s truly okay if you cannot re-wire your brain back to normal!  Normal is so boring anyway.  The important thing, in my opinion, is overcoming the emotional distress (suffering) caused by the OCD bully brain.  After that, any OCD “phantom” quirks left behind, embrace them!  Embrace them like OCD battle scars!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Overcoming Intrusive Thoughts

There were times when I was bombarded by dark heavy intrusive-thought clouds.  I used to think that focusing on the intrusive thoughts themselves would make the intrusive thoughts go away.  I always dwelled on one specific question: “Why am I thinking such horrific thoughts?!”  Unfortunately, that question only opened a flood gate of other disturbing irrational thoughts that would only intensify my anxiety and emotions even more, ultimately resulting in hours or even days of extreme emotional suffering.

Turns out, I just wasn’t asking myself the “right” questions?  

What Are Intrusive Thoughts?

Intrusive thoughts can be nuisance little buggers.  They are unpleasant thoughts, mental images, or ideas that involuntarily pop up in the mind.  Everyone experiences intrusive thoughts, it’s not just an OCD thing.

See, the brain is constantly scanning and processing information, thus why some junk information may end up in the processing line with thoughts that actually matter.  For the most part, our brain does a pretty good job at pushing intrusive thoughts through without us taking notice.  However, we tend to dwell on thoughts that are attached to emotions; so if an intrusive thought just so happens to pass through our mind at the right time, like during a period of anxiety, we might accidentally lock onto that intrusive thought by attaching an emotion to it.  

Generally, intrusive thoughts don’t linger around for very long and cause little to no emotional distress, because the fight or flight response system quickly realizes these intrusive thoughts are harmless and doesn’t require an emotional response; thus, releasing the emotional attachment allowing the intrusive thought to drift away from the mind.

However, for me, my faulty fight or flight response system doesn’t exactly know what to do with an intrusive thought and keeps me emotionally attached to my intrusive thought until it can be processed appropriately.  Almost like, when a customer service representative encounters a questionable problem, but has to wait until their manager comes back to lunch to resolve it.  Yet, with OCD, instead of waiting for the manager of my faulty fight or flight response system, I get the moody on-call supervisor (my OCD) to try to handle it for me, in which, we all know just makes matters worse causing emotional distress.  I wonder if I can sue my OCD for emotional distress?  

None Shall Pass, The Never Ending Thought Loop 

Imagine you are stuck running in a loop and there is a toll booth.  If you ask the right questions at the toll booth, you are free to leave the loop.  If you ask the wrong questions, you continue running in an endless loop, dwelling more and more on your intrusive thoughts.  Also, think of the loop as a dirt-road track, because the more you go round and round in your loop, the deeper the track gets from continuous tread from your shoes. Overcoming intrusive thoughts is a bit like that…at least for me it is. 

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I learned that the more I dwell on trying to analyze my intrusive thoughts, the more my anxiety and emotions intensify, leading to self-doubt.  Once self-doubt kicks in, that is it!  My OCD bully has nailed me in the gonads and I am just left to wait it out until my OCD episode ends on it’s own.  This is because self-doubt is much more difficult to overcome than the emotions attached to intrusive thoughts.  Self-doubt makes the intrusive thoughts personal and without cognitive practice, self-doubt is emotionally painful.

When intrusive thoughts become stuck, you just can’t not think about them….

Asking Different Questions

It’s all about changing tactics.  If you do the same thing over and over again to try to solve a problem, you always get the same results.  Usually, if you change your point of view, you discover a new way to tackle your problem to gain different results.  So, if dwelling on the same questions is making anxiety worse, why not try asking different questions?  Here are some examples: 

  1. Instead of asking yourself, “Why am I thinking about these horrific thoughts?”
    Ask yourself, “Why do these horrific thoughts bother me so much?”
  2. Instead of asking yourself, “Where did these horrific thoughts come from?”
    Ask yourself, “Am I anxious about anything that could have triggered these thoughts?”
  3. Instead of asking yourself, “Why can’t I just let go of these thoughts?”
    Ask yourself, “Are these thoughts really worth my time and energy to think about?”
  4. Instead of asking yourself, “Who am I?”
    Ask yourself, “Who am I not?”  Remember, intrusive thoughts do not define you.
  5. Finally, ask yourself, “What emotions am I attaching to these thoughts?”
    And then, begin defusing those emotions.

Try to think outside the box!  Ask questions that are constructive and positive to help lead you away from intrusive thoughts.  And, always remember to take a deep breath!

It’s Not Always Easy

There is always more than one way to release yourself from your anchored thoughts, you just need to find which way works for you.  The OCD bully brain wants to take advantage of intrusive thoughts to make you feel like a bad person.  Don’t let it!   You may not be able to control your thoughts, but you can for sure control how you respond to your thoughts.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Intrusive Thought Clouds

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Illustration by Ginny 

 

Sometimes when it rains, it pours.

Dark heavy intrusive thought clouds can be overwhelming, but clearer skies are on their way.  Like all massive storms, intrusive thought storms seem to last forever.  They can be scary, especially, when the storm intensifies with emotion causing more anxiety.

Whenever a storm threatens a perfectly good day, one can either seek shelter and wait it out in comfort or learn to dance happily in the rain.

It is completely up to you, how you choose to respond to your intrusive thoughts!  ❤ 

Overcoming OCD: A Theory

What good is a blog about overcoming the suffering of OCD, if there is no straight-to-the-point information about overcoming the suffering of OCD?

Available now, in the menu to the right, is a new tab: Overcoming OCD: A Theory.   

This page contains a personal theory of mine about Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and thoughts on how I believe one can overcome the suffering of OCD.

Please feel free to check it out.  Comments always welcome.

 

My Weirdest OCD Ever: Whale Poo

This Memorial Day weekend, I took my girls to Sea World…all by myself.  You would think my OCD brain would have been on fire with anxiety.  Surprisingly, I was okay.  It wasn’t as stressful as I thought it would be; plus, I wasn’t the only brave (insane) parent who decided to bring their kids to a crowded amusement park all by themselves.  Sure, I was a bit anxious (who wouldn’t be), but having fun and making memories with my kids was way more important than getting stuck on a worrying-spree.  I tell ya, my OCD brain didn’t know how to handle that, and thus, I got the weirdest, most ridiculous, silliest OCD episode EVER, about whale poo!

Allowing OCD Thoughts & Feelings To Just Flow

I rarely “suffer” from OCD anymore.  I have OCD, so what I mean is that the intrusive thoughts and feelings from my OCD rarely ever cause me emotional “distress” anymore.

For me, my OCD is just there.  OCD is just something my brain does and I have accepted the fact that there is nothing I can do about the wiring of my OCD brain; however, I do have full-control on how I respond to my OCD.

Being able to recognize when my brain is “OCD-ing,” gives me better control over how I respond to OCD and thus, reduces the emotional distress caused by my OCD.  With lots (LOTS) of cognitive practice, I have learned how to let my OCD thoughts go, laugh at them even, and do my very best to move on with my life.  Of course, there are some OCD thoughts and feelings that are more difficult to let go than others, but in the back of my mind, I understand all my OCD episodes are triggered by real sources of anxiety, in which my OCD brain misinterprets, and holds on to by strong emotions.  In this particular case, I recognize the real source of my anxiety to be my kids.  I was anxious about the crowds and worried about how my kids were going to do at the park.  Understanding the real source of anxiety also gives me control over my OCD.

Allowing OCD thoughts and feelings to just flow, is an interesting experience.  It is almost like watching a suspenseful action-adventure movie, where you are on the edge of your seat, with your heart-pumping with adrenaline, excited for the next scene, but you have no worries at all, because that is totally not you in the movie being chased by bad guys or something (simply not your problem-kind of feeling).  When I am aware of an OCD episode, my OCD thoughts and feelings kind of just play in the background.  It’s really quite an interesting experience.

A Biologist’s Busted Dream

I love the ocean!  In high-school, I studied Marine Biology and I was set on becoming a Marine biologist; sadly, there just isn’t much marine life in a hot, dusty, and dry desert.  I did have the opportunity to learn to scuba-dive in a swimming pool, but I never finished my certification due to having Asthma.  My marine biology dream bubble was kind of busted by my physician who is a retired Navy physician.  He kindly explained to me that divers with Asthma are at high risk of collapsing their lungs due to the high pressures underwater.  Unfortunately, asthmatics often suffer from the “Bends” aka “decompression sickness,” more often than non-asthmatics.   So, the closest I am going to get to deep-sea marine life is in an Aquarium.

 

Please Don’t Blackfish Me

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How dare I bring my kids to Sea World, haven’t I ever seen Blackfish? 

Yes, I have!  “Blackfish” is a very heart-breaking, eye-opening,  documentary about the Sea World Amusement Parks and their alleged mistreatment of their Killer Whales (Orcas).  And, yes, I am very angry at Sea World!

Honestly, I find it extremely inhumane to keep not only one, but several massively large  marine creatures in a large swimming pool.  It is especially wrong, considering that each Sea-World park has a man-made lake for their water-skiing / boat shows that is 1000 times bigger than their Orca habitats.  Seriously, I would expect the Orca and dolphin habitats to be as big or even bigger as their man-made lake.  Basically, I just think captive Orca and dolphins deserve acreage in their tanks not square-feet.

So, why take my kids to Sea World?  Well, for the experience and to also learn about ocean conservation.  Sea World, I must give them that, has a decent ocean conservation program.  Although they teach the public about how to protect marine life in the wild, their undesirable captivity program (animals in the park) kind of makes me want to protect marine life even more in the wild; especially, if it could result in keeping animals in the wild instead of having to end up in captivity for rehabilitation or even for entertainment purposes.   Just a thought.

To be honest, I had no intention on dragging my kids to any Sea World shows.  When I was a kid, the trainers swam with the Orcas, in which was super fun to watch; however, due to tragic incidents where Orcas have attacked and drown trainers, trainers no longer swim with the Orca (highly understandably).  Unfortunately, the Orcas rarely do anything during the shows anymore.  Spoiler Alert: The entire show is sitting in front of a large tank listening to trainers recite Orca facts.  The Orca jump out of the water maybe once or twice during the entire show and at the end, they splash the audience.

OCD-ing About Whale Poo

My oldest was intent on seeing a whale, so, of course, I was going to make sure she saw a whale (mommy reflex).  BTW, Orcas are not technically whales, so I should have taken her to see the Beluga Whale instead, but that is a debate for when she is much older. I have learned to never argue with a preschooler!

When we arrived in the Orca stadium, my youngest dragged us all the way to the bottom (Splash Zone) to watch the Orca circle the tank.  They circled around the tank like sharks.  Although sad, they were still magnificent creatures to look at.  Anyway, as one swam by us, it pooped.  It was super gross!

We watched the entire show and at the end, we got splashed by 3 large Orca’s!  OMG, it was a lot of water!  A lot of cold, super salty, and in the back of my mind, poopie water!    My OCD brain was totally focused on the whale we saw poop in the water before the show.  That was just one Orca…there were 3 Orca’s in that tank!  That means, there were 3 large pooping Orca’s in that tank, splashing their toilet water all over us!

Before I saw the Orca poop in the water, my brain was content with the ignorant idea that Orca just don’t poop where they swim.  It’s just something I never really thought about before.  It didn’t ruin my day or anything, but the thought did linger in the back of my mind all the way home.

I thought about our drenched clothes, covered in Orca toilet water, have now contaminated the car seats.  Then, when we got home, we all went to bed without showers, because it was late and we were all exhausted!  I had a lingering thought that now our beds were contaminated with whale poo too!

I did have the compulsive need to wash everything as soon as possible, but, I didn’t, I was too tired to worry about whale poo.  We had to just live with it and surprisingly to my OCD brain, we survived without having to scrub everything clean.  Although we all took showers the next day, the clothes are still in the dirty laundry waiting for their turn to get washed.  The car seats need to be washed too, but not because I fear they are contaminated with whale poo, but mostly because they smell extremely salty.  3.5% salinity, to be exact.  Wow, I actually remember something from high-school. 🙂

So, that was my weirdest, most ridiculous, silliest OCD episode EVER!  If anything, it has taught me to think twice before sitting in the Splash Zone ever again.  🙂

Do you have any weird OCD stories, please feel free to share with us!