Shopping With Anxiety: Not Always Bad

I am a late night grocery shopper, because shopping at the grocery store during the day, by myself, is a nightmare with anxiety!

I am not the only one who experiences shopping anxiety; my husband won’t even get out of the car unless the entire family goes inside the store with him.  If he does go into the store by himself, in which is rare, he comes out looking white as a ghost, hair frazzled on end, and heart pounding, as if he had to battle an army of orcs inside the grocery store just to get a gallon a milk.  Unfortunately, he doesn’t even make it to the dairy section; as that would be like having to venture towards the back of the grocery store into Narnia. Instead, he comes back with an 8oz carton of milk from the check out line!  You know, I am not judging, because it happens to us all!  

Peak Time For Anxiety Is 5pm

My anxiety triggers OCD, thus why I absolutely hate shopping during the day.  I can deal with a little anxiety, but once it triggers an OCD episode, I am done!  I too, walk out of the grocery store white as a ghost, hair frazzled on end, and heart pounding, worried about the most irrational horrific things in the world about a gallon of milk.  So, to save myself from emotional distress, I prefer to shop at night, where there is no crowd, the night stockers often sing and dance while the speakers play rock & roll, instead of the usually sappy music that is required to play during the day, and the check out clerks are much happier!  It’s an entirely different atmosphere after the sun goes down.

Again, I can largely relate to my husband’s experience inside the grocery store.  Although I enjoy shopping late at night, every so often I have to run to the store for one or two things before dinner time.  Unfortunately, 5pm at the grocery store is always crazy!  It is crowded with all sorts of different shoppers, from the old complaining about the cost of inflation to the young trying to buy alcohol.  There are those holding up lines over expired coupons, writing checks, or just simply talking about their day to a clerk who doesn’t really care.  The worst though, are the people who just got off work and are trying to rush through the grocery store like football line-backers.  They are hungry, rude, and in a hurry!  Personally, I don’t blame them, because they just want to get home like the rest of us.

So…This Happened

Every so often, I treat myself to a mud mask (scares the monkey’s out of my kids).  MUD MONSTER!  Anyway, I enjoy it, also my skin comes out smooth, fresh, and less “old and tired” looking.

I’ve tried all different kinds of mud-masks and my two favorite are charcoal and dead-sea mineral mud masks.  The charcoal masks are great for cleaning out pores and the dead-sea mineral masks are great for making skin feel soft, plus reduces dark circles and redness.  So, I try to do a dead-sea mineral mask once a week (if I am lucky) and the weeks I look absolutely dreadful, I do a charcoal mask, since that’s more heavy duty than a dead-sea mineral mask.  Although I am not really into the girly-girl things, I do enjoy mud-masks.

IMG_1012

I went to the store recently and stocked up on mud masks, but I didn’t realize, I stocked up on the wrong kind of mud mask.  I remember I bought them when I was making a milk run to the grocery store when the grocery store was super busy.  I had anxiety.  I remember two girls talking loudly about their business and it made me nervous, so I quickly grab the mud masks.  I saw “dead-sea…” but I did not comprehend the rest of it, “dead-seaweed,” SEA-WEED!  What!  I bought a couple of mud-masks with seaweed instead of my usual dead-sea mineral mud masks.

Shopping Anxiety Is Not Always Bad

I am cool.  I am hip.  I can try smearing sea-weed all over my face, why not?

I tried it!  Although the experience is not very pleasant as sea-weed certainly smells, it sure did make my skin look pretty!  I am not opposed to doing it again, but probably not something I am willing to do all the time.

So, shopping with anxiety isn’t always terrible.  To be honest, I probably wouldn’t try new things if I weren’t rushing through a grocery store with anxiety and picking up the wrong stuff every so often.  Sure, sometimes I am forced to exchange items, like the time I needed butter and quickly picked up a block of cream-cheese instead.  For the record, that was not entirely my fault, for that the grocery store had moved the butter section!

Making The Best Of Things

My point is, that anxiety is not always terrible.  Sometimes good unexpected things can come out of it.  If you go to the grocery store for lemons and come back with limes, I guess make limeade instead!

How do you cope with shopping anxiety? 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Advertisements

Everyday Stressors

I started listening to a 7-day Stress Management series provided by the Calm App (iOS).  The narrator said something quite enlightening; something along the lines that “us humans are not yet ready to take on the stresses of the 21st century.” IMG_0937

Stress is normal everyday life now; however, our Fight or Flight Response System is a little behind on the times. There is just too much going on for our Fight or Flight Response System to process, thus, our bodies are thrown into constant high alert making us feel stressed all the time.  Practicing mindfulness and changing our thinking habits allow our Fight or Flight Response System more time to re-evaluate and accurately process the world around us to ensure our bodies appropriately respond to the right stressors.

Stressors are everywhere.  From the moment we wake up in the morning to the moment we rack out asleep in our beds at night.  I don’t know about anyone else, but my alarm clock is my first everyday stressor.  After avoiding the snooze button, my alarm clock turns into a thirty minute count-down where I am having to rush everyone to get ready for the day.  Drag my husband out of bed and push him into the shower, so he can wake up enough to get his butt to work.  Argue with a two year old about which cereal she wants but never eats.  Coax my preschooler to join the rest of us as she whines about it being too cold to get out of bed, even though the house is comfortably warm.  Lastly, after everyone is ready to go, with just a few minutes left on the clock, I have to get ready!  Every morning is chaotic and I have the power to change it! Just by changing up my morning routine and focus on better time management, I can eliminate my everyday morning stressors.

What is your first stressor of everyday? 

Uncontrollable Stressors

Life is full of funky lemons and we can’t always control what funky lemons are given to us.  We can try to make lemonade, but all we get is funky lemonade.  Simply, we are often forced to cope with stressful situations that are out of our control.

Life is full of uncontrollable stressors, like traffic.  Traffic becomes stressful when it causes us to be late for work or somewhere else that is really important.  OR, like getting laid off; it’s just something that happens and even the best employees get laid off sometimes.  Another uncontrollable stressor, is being a scheduled speaker with a nasty mustard stain on a favorite white blouse just before the start of a board meeting and no jacket to cover it up.  Or life’s worst funky lemon, for me, is finding my textbook all chewed up just before an open-book exam!  We encounter uncontrollable stressors everyday, but it’s how we respond to these stressors that make or break us.

Always try to make the best of every stressful situation!  For instance, if you are stuck in traffic and running late for work, loosen your tie, roll down your window, turn up the radio and sing your heart out!  Despite being chewed out by your boss for five minutes, your job is still gonna be there.  Don’t let a little traffic ruin your entire day.

Overcoming the stress of getting laid off, is all about changing your attitude.  Sure, money will be tight, but when a door closes another one opens.  That sounds cheesy, a little cliche, but it’s so true!

That mustard stain…I say wear it proud!  It may be embarrassing at first, but everyone will understand, because you are human!  You can also get creative by covering it with a sticker, snag a scarf, or if possible, tuck it in.  Often times, because offices are cold, someone with a sweater will likely allow you to borrow theirs while you speak to the board of directors.

And, for the chewed up text-book…well, good luck!   

Small Breaks To Knock Out Big Stressors

Sometimes we can’t make the best of a stressful situation.  There are some serious uncontrollable stressors out there that just cannot be resolved with a little creativity and a positive attitude.  When forced to endure an uncontrollable stressful situation that cannot be resolved, we must find other ways to better cope with stress.

Really big uncontrollable stressors is a job for our Fight or Flight Response System.  Although we cannot do anything physically productive to eliminate a big uncontrollable stressor in our life, we do have the ability to take small relaxing breaks to help our bodies cope with stress.

This includes practicing mindfulness and acceptance, meditating, reading, taking a walk, exercise, having a spa day, or distracting yourself with something fun while the body does its thing (you know releasing those feel-good chemicals to reduce stress).   So, even if we cannot eliminate the stressor, we can help our bodies cope with the stress the stressor is causing us.

Breathe and Smile

Whatever type of stressors are in your life, always remember to stop, breathe, and smile.

Do you have any effective coping skills for major stressors in your life? Share with us, so we can try them too. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Stress vs Anxiety

Because OCD is an anxiety disorder, I thought stress would play a much bigger role in my OCD.  Interestingly though, stress does not affect my OCD brain at all.  I respond to stress much differently than I do to anxiety.  For me, anxiety affects my mental state (causing OCD episodes) whereas stress affects my physical body (causing tummy aches).  It’s strange, I know; especially, when anxiety and stress are pretty similar in nature.  

Screen Shot 2019-06-12 at 1.41.23 PM

My Unpleasant Vertigo Experience

The other day, I had a terrifying experience with vertigo due to stress.  I had difficulty detecting my surroundings.  The room was not just spinning in one direction, but in all directions like a free-falling space capsule plumenting towards an alien surface through uneven gravity.  Lying down was even worse, as it felt like I was on a tiny gondola in the middle of an ocean during a turbulent thunderstorm storm.  I also couldn’t detect the edge of my bed, thus making it dangerous to go to sleep without surrounding myself with a bunch of pillows to ensure I didn’t end up on the floor during the night.  The reason our bodies don’t fall off the bed while sleeping, is because our vestibular senses are aware of the ground at all times.  When our vestibular senses go out of whack, like due to vertigo, the body has difficulty detecting where the ground is and BAM!, you end up face to face with the floor!  Also, while I was going through this, not a single OCD thought stirred; I am guessing my OCD brain was too busy trying to fix it’s internal compass.  My husband and I are convinced it was stress-related.  It was a crazy, absolutely no fun, experience that I hope I never have to experience again!

Stress vs. Anxiety

Although stress and anxiety seem to cause the same symptoms, there is a difference between them, for that they differ in “origin.”  Anxiety is generally caused by unplesant internal thoughts and ideas, whereas stress is generally caused by unpleasant external situations.  Furthermore, anxiety can lead to stress and stress can lead to anxiety.

When I think of the word stress, I think of physics, where a physical force is placed upon an object causing the object to bend or lean; with too much stress, the object is likely to break, fall over, or collapse.  I believe the same for mental stress.  External situations such as being in a financial rut, overwhelmed with a heavy workload, or being late due to heavy traffic; can create a mental force that has the potential to cause stress on the body.  When we internalize these external situations with “stinking thinking,” that is when stress turns into anxiety (worry).  Then, vice versa, whereas chronic anxiety due to “stinking thinking” has the potential to cause stress, physical effects on the body.  In short, stress and anxiety can intermingle with one another causing havoc on the mind, body, and soul.

Okay,  I am not at all satisfied with that explanation; so I would love to hear your thoughts regarding the differences between stress and anxiety?  

Acceptance Is Important In Coping With Stress

Despite having an anxiety disorder, I tend to cope with stress a lot better than I do anxiety.  Throw me into a bull-pen with a dozen angry bulls and I am as cool as a cucumber, using rational thinking to defuse a stressful situation.  However, I will be completely honest, I absolutely struggle to cope with stress caused by situations I have no control over; especially, situations that I cannot resolved right then and there.  Although I can make the best of a stressful situation, I often fail to accept that I am “stuck” in a stressful situation where there is nothing that “I” can personally do about it, not now nor perhaps even later.  Sometimes there are stressful situations that just can’t be resolved and it’s something I must let go or just ride it out til the end (off into the sunset I suppose).

There are lots of things I can do to reduce stress, but in the end, I think the most efficient tool in my stress-management tool box is the art of acceptance.  “Woosah!” (Bad Boys II movie reference)

Guided Meditation To Defuse Stress

I am feeling much better today, all because of THE HONEST GUYS!   The Honest Guys is a Youtube channel that provides meditation and relaxation videos.  I absolutely LOVE, LOVE, LOVE their guided meditations!  The CALM app I have is good, but these guys are even better and is a must share!  I feel grounded again!  I am smiling again!  I am energetic again!  I am no longer stressed out!   Thank you Honest Guys!

No affiliated links here, I promise!

Above is the video I’ve been playing to help myself get to sleep at night.  Lately for me, stress has been interrupting my sleep schedule and I find it very difficult to overcome stress when I’m tired and not thinking straight.  I also think stress and fatigue contributed to my little episode of vertigo.

Of course, meditations videos don’t work for everyone.   I totally suck at medtiation and I don’t like dry guided meditations without sounds of things I am suppose to imagine.  However, these videos include visual images with sounds that relate to the visual images to improve the guided meditation experience.

Anyway, whether you are looking for new meditation videos or need to try something new to help relax, I totally recommend THE HONEST GUYS Youtube channel.

How do you cope with stress?  Leave a comment below, I look forward to hearing from you!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mindful Walking: Taking It All In

I used to think mindful walking meant “watching” your step.  Like, the delicate art of dodging sneaky fixed-light poles, jumping over Grand Canyon size pot holes, avoiding embarrassing trips over large cracks in the sidewalk, and trying not to invade personal space bubbles of others walking around you, including getting tangled up with animal friends on long leashes.  Makes sense, right?  Walking in general, kind of requires some level of mindfulness.  How much more mindful should we be? 

Well…walking mindfully, is so much more than just watching your step and being aware of your surroundings (calm down secret Ninja).  Mindful walking is enjoying your surroundings, feeling the moment, and engaging in all your senses.  Although it sounds complicated, like rubbing your tummy and patting your head at the same time, I assure you, it’s actually very easy.

Walking Like A Zombie

We don’t have to actively think about moving our feet to walk, (left foot, right foot, left foot, right foot), we kind of just do it automatically.  Sometimes to the point, we can end up at the refrigerator without even realizing it, browsing mindlessly into an open refrigerator not even sure if we have a hungry tummy.  Our feet take us on all sorts of trips, but rarely do we remember any part of the trip.  Seriously, walking in the parking lot from your car to the grocery store; do you ever remember specifics to your surroundings?

When our bodies are in this normal automatic (zombie) mode, our Fight or Flight Response System is directing our senses, not us, mostly because we are too busy thinking about other things.  I know while I am walking to the grocery store from my car, the only thing on my mind is a shopping list.  This is why we rarely remember any specifics from point A to point B, such as how many people were in the parking lot, particular smells, the color of parked cars, a penny on the ground, or any trees or flowers in the parking lot; well, unless you parked next to a tree, then of course, you have to remember that tree.

My point is, we do see all of these things, but we rarely pay attention to any of it, unless it sparks an interest, like a unique rainbow colored car with unicorn horns or things that pose a danger to us, like a vehicle backing out of a parking space in front of us or the smell of gasoline.  We are semi-aware of our surroundings; but our Fight or Flight Response System is doing majority of the work when we don’t walk mindfully, because its mission is to keep us safe while our mind focuses on other things (like a shopping list).

Mindful Walking 101 

The next time you go for a walk, even a short trip to the refrigerator, try to practice mindful walking. Shape 3

To start, you have to get your feet moving in a desired direction, then once you are on your way, bring full-attention to your body then extend your senses outward to the world.  Taking in each moment of every step as you walk from point A to point B.  Bringing your full attention to one simple task, such as walking, is extremely calming and sometimes enlightening.

Focusing On The Breath

On longer walks, like a good exercise around the block, always start with your breath.  Focus on your breath by paying close attention to its sound; notice your chest moving in and out as your breathe.  Can you feel your muscles working?  Once you get a good, calm, breathing rhythm, move your attention to your feet.

Feet to Head Mental Scan

As you walk, you want to take notice to how your feet feel against the ground.  Are you a light stepper or a heavy stepper?  Are you walking fast or slow?  Try to notice the heel -toe movement in walking.  Can you feel any muscles working?

After your feet, pay full-attention to each body area, working your way up to your head.  Move upward from your feet to your thighs, then to your hips (do they sway side to side as you walk, mine do).  Then focus on your back, how is your posture as you walk?  Wiggle your arms and fingers, focus on the sensations there.  Finally, move up to your head where you will begin to extend your senses outward.

Using Senses To Discover A New World

When you engage in all your senses while walking, the world around you becomes more vivid, clearer, and sometimes even more beautiful.  That is because you begin to notice things you never noticed before.

Try to bring your full attention to each of your senses.

  • What do you smell?  Is it good or bad?  Does it spark any memories?
  • What do you see?  Look for flowers and trees.  Pay attention to building architecture.  Notice textures and colors.
  • What do you hear?  Birds chirping?  Dogs barking?  Kids screaming? Construction?  How does it make you feel?
  • Focus on taste.  Morning coffee? Toothpaste?  Unique unpleasant after-taste?  Is it slightly raining?  No shame in taking a taste of rain like a kid, enjoy it!
  • Focus on touch.  Touch everything, but be mindful of boundaries.  Touch flowers, dirt, the bricks of a house.  What does it feel like?  Take your shoes off while walking along a beach (avoid rocks).

The point is to activate all your senses while still being mindful of your surroundings to remain safe from danger.  You can enjoy your walk so much more, by taking in every moment of your journey.  This is truly the art of being mindful.

Gratitude Is The Result Of Being Mindful 

Focusing on your breath and doing a toe to head body scan brings your body to a state of relaxation.  However, engaging all your senses can bring a sense of gratitude.  As you focus on your senses, you begin to appreciate all the new discoveries.  Gratitude often leads to happiness and happiness is always a good thing.  🙂

What are your thoughts on mindful walking?

 

 

 

 

 

Mindfulness: Everything Is Okay

A Different Perspective

At this very exact moment, you are okay!

Practicing mindfulness is a great way to calm down anxiety, fears, and worries.  When you pay full attention to the present moment, you realize that there is nothing to immediately fear or worry about.  We have this illusion that time is extremely fast in which is why we feel so connected to our past and our future.

The interesting part of practicing mindfulness, is realizing how long a second can be when you are fully focused on the moment.  Did you know there are things happening in the world that take less than a second to do?

  • An insect can flap its wings over a hundred times within 1 second.
  • Lighting can strike across the sky in less than 1 second.
  • The eye can blink several times within 1 second.
  • Speak one verbal word in less than 1 second (thus saying “One Mississippi” is supposedly equivalent to 1 second)
  • Supposedly, neuron cells fire several hundred times within 1 second.

Personally for me, 1 second is a long time, especially,  knowing that some things that I barely notice take place in less than a second.  It makes me wonder why I might be worried about something that may not happen until tomorrow, I mean that is 86,400 seconds away and that is if the thing that I am worried about will even happen at all.

When I focus on the present, time for me seems to slow down.  It makes yesterday feel like days ago and tomorrow a week from now.  Maybe that is the gap needed to disconnect ourselves from the feelings we have from yesterday and the feelings we have for tomorrow.

Focusing on today is good, but focusing on the very moment is better.  It reminds us that we are okay, regardless of any problems we are experiencing or going to experience (or not experience at all), we are okay at this very moment in time and it is this moment in time that matters the most.

I hope when you find yourself having a rough day, you go to bed at night knowing you are okay and tomorrow is a new day.

 

 

 

 

Zen for the Awkward Pupil

How do I become one with the Universe?” I once asked myself, during a time when I felt as if my brain was broken, and obviously, just after watching Kung Fu Panda.  Yeah, don’t judge me, everyone loves Jack Black!  But, seriously, so many “mystical Kung-Fuie” questions filled my brain, distracting my (once then) OCD brain from messing with me for awhile.  That was when I decided my OCD brain could use a little Zen; after all, it wouldn’t hurt.

As the awkward, can’t take anything serious, tiny person that I am, achieving Zen was a bit challenging…

When I think of Zen, I think of wedgie tight yoga pants, crystals, candles, a third eye, and achieving Nirvana like a Dragon Ball-Z character, glowing with massive energy, hair turning color, and surrounded by levitating furniture.

Image result for dragon ball z power. up

Apparently, I had high expectations for Zen.

Trial and Error with Zen 

The only way to achieve Zen, is to become Zen.  So, I squeezed into a pair of yoga pants, sat in the middle of my living room floor, closed my eyes, and waited…

Nothing.

Next, I burned some incenses, candles, and bought a few rocks (crystals).

Nothing.

Contacted friends, read a few books, downloaded a few apps, squeezed into some yoga pants (unnecessary by the way), saged my home, lit a candle, turned on some music, sat cross-legged in the middle of my living room, closed my eyes, took in a few deep breaths and waited….

Nirvana!

Well, at least I was close.  I doubt I reached the stage of Enlightenment, but I did eventually find my inner-peace and it was the beginning of a beautiful journey in overcoming my OCD brain.

Avoid The Awkwardness: Art Of Mindfulness 

To be honest, and I wish others would have told me this, you don’t have to try on yoga pants, buy a bunch of rocks, sage your house, burn exotic incenses, or meditate for hours to achieve Zen.  You just need to be yourself and simply practice a little Mindfulness.

What I love about the art of mindfulness is that there is no need for crystals, incenses, or candles, you can do it anywhere, anytime, with your eyes open, standing up, wearing your normal clothes, and nobody will know you are achieving Zen!

You can try it now:

  • Take in a few deep breaths.
  • Then, slowly, one at a time, focus on the following:
    • Breath: Bring your attention to your breath.  Notice your body moving with your breath and the sound your breath makes.
    • Sight: Bring your attention to the room around you, identify shapes and colors.
    • Sound: Bring your attention to sound, what can you hear?
    • Taste: Bring your attention to your mouth, what can you taste? Notice textures of your teeth, gums, roof of your mouth.
    • Touch: Bring your attention to your hands.  Notice the textures of your chair, keyboard, or maybe a pen you are holding.
    • Smell: Bring your attention to your nose.  What can you smell?  How does it make you feel?  Does it trigger any memories?  Good or bad?

Do you feel better?  If not, it’s okay, you didn’t do anything wrong.  It just takes practice and your full attention.

Practicing Mindfulness allows you to clear your mind, step back from chaos, live in the moment, and gain new perspectives.  For me, I use mindfulness to ground myself and RESET my brain when I begin to feel stressed out or overwhelmed.  Of course, I still like pretty rocks, exotic incenses, and practice a little yoga.

How do you achieve Zen?