I will be honest…last week, I totally fell apart!
I feel like I went through the Five Stages of Grief : denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.
I am not sure if anyone else has experienced this lately; if so, please feel free to share with us your thoughts and opinions too.
My downward spiral of emotions began when the media started reporting different facts regarding the CoVid-19 pandemic, causing great panic and fear in everyone.
As a scientist at heart <3, I question the world around me, not only to gain better understanding, but also to better accept the unknown. However, when information is incorrect or contradicting, it is difficult to make an accurate assessment to build a solid game plan. As human beings, if we cannot accurately assess a serious situation, our Fight or Flight Response System kicks into high gear, creating panic and fear.
Of course, with the help of my OCD brain, my rational questions turned into stinking thinking, which not only created panic and fear, but also a physical pain in my ribs due to the build up of stress caused by panic and fear. In short, I had a really really bad panic attack!
My emotions started with denial. With all the confusing, contradicting, false information circulating around, I started to think, perhaps things are not as bad as it seems. Then our community got serious, with shut-downs and testing.
Then, I got super angry. Angry, that I am high-risk for complications due to my asthma. Angry, that my family might lose me. Angry, that I never finished my Biology degree to be one of the scientists who can help cure this awful disease. Angry, that the world may change forever for my girls. Angry, about so much stuff.
Bargaining & Depression
After the anger subsided, I began a stage known as bargaining…where the “what if” thinking really started to get me down. Mostly, I became overly concerned about the welfare of my kids…in which, I can’t even bring myself to talk about without the waterworks starting up again. I started organizing my affairs and gathering information my family would need, in the event, I get really sick.
This was the stage, where I began to feel the pain in my ribs. The part where depression kicked in and I cried a lot.
Today, I am feeling much better, except for my ribs; they feel like they were beaten by a baseball bat. But, my heart-rate is down, I am calm, cool, collected, and ready to take on the world again.
I am currently working on acceptance and I think acceptance is very important when having to cope with stress; especially, a lot of stress.
I have accepted that the situation going on today is out of my control.
However, I can certainly control how I respond to this situation.
I can respond by…
1) Keeping myself informed and up-to-date
2) Doing my best to practice good hygiene and taking the necessary precautions to prevent illness and help flatten the curve to help others.
3) Worrying only when it is time to worry.
4) Having hope and never giving up on hope.
5) Continuing to enjoy Life with a grateful heart and a positive mind.
With everything going on in the world right now, it is super easy to forget about the present moment. For many of us, we are wasting the present moment by dwelling on the past as we worry about the future. But, in the grand-scheme of things, the present is all that really matters. Even when the world is not tumbling into chaos, enjoying the present is far more important than our past and future.
Don’t get me wrong, our future is important too. However, focusing on the present allows us to pave the way for a better future, a more enjoyable future, rather than a future spent on regretting the past. I am not sure if that makes any sense, but basically, I am just saying, make good decisions and fantastic memories now, so that you end up having an amazing life later.
Also, practicing awareness for the present moment, gives us a break from all the chaos around us. It has the potential to reduce panic and fear. Being aware of the present moment, reminds you that at this very moment in time, you are okay. Focusing on the present moment, removes a vast majority of fears and anxiety; especially, those associated with time and space. It can eliminate fears and anxiety regarding the past and future (time). It can also eliminate fears and anxiety caused by situations that are in your life, such as work, school, home, etc (space). Self-awareness allows you to block out everything else and only focus on yourself…your existence. This allows you to reprioritize your thoughts, worries, and emotions. It also allows you to heal and recharge from overwhelming emotions. A mental break.
Thank You To All The Amazing Brains
I just wanted to take a moment to thank all the amazing brains out there taking the time to check out my blog, reading my posts, and posting comments. You guys are awesome! We will get through this together. I wish everyone the best of physical and mental health! Positive vibes too ❤