Man, when life hits ya, it can sometimes hit ya hard!
Every once in awhile I go through a period of intense overwhelming stress. For whatever reason, my entire world turns upside down- anything that can happen, does happen, and generally, it happens all at once. Murphy’s law at its best, really.
Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.
Life has been crazy overwhelming since the beginning of September and today, is the first time things have been calm and peaceful.
I believe these random periods of chaos is the Universe’s way of balancing itself out. I generally tend to only have a few bad days (sometimes a few bad weeks) throughout an entire year. So, technically, that’s not too bad, given that the rest of my year is fantastic!
I guess, after having a few good years though, I was probably due for a couple of bad months. Perhaps, that was the case this time, because this period of chaos was a doozie!
Both my kids got sick (twice), one of them was hospitalized, while the other was out of school for an entire week. They both had a common cold and then later, strep with a mild viral infection. This was the root of all my stress, especially, since the beginning of this month, we went from amazing health-care insurance to “What kind of health-care insurance is this?” Basically, our premiums doubled and we lost really good benefits.
But, that wasn’t all I was dealing with…
I am in charge of everything. On top of the average domestic duties of a modern housewife and mother, I am also in charge of paying bills, budgeting finances, unclogging toilets, routine car maintenance, and household maintenance, such as changing air filters, fixing appliances, and taking out the trash. I do this, all in between raising kids, washing laundry, and putting food on the table. I truly do everything, except bring home a paycheck. Given enough time in the day, I could probably do that too.
I am not complaining though. I truly do not mind doing everything. Fortunately, my OCD brain is really good at managing chaos; however, I am not a robot. I have human limitations and boundaries. No matter how organized and smoothly efficient things are, I do, on occasion, get exhausted, stressed, and overwhelmed and that is okay. Sadly, the problem is when there is no emotional support for when I do get overwhelmed.
My husband’s extreme anxiety, mild case of Asperger’s, and fear of responsibility (hypengyophobia), can be quite challenging when I am in need of emotional support and/or a little extra help with the daily biz. For the most part, I am just left to figure it out on my own- which takes time.
It also didn’t help, that I got sick too. I don’t think with Strep, but certainly, a mild viral infection. Basically, after everyone got better, all the “fires” were put out, the house was clean, and everyone was back on tract, my body broke down and I finally got sick too. I also broke down emotionally- I felt as if I had taken on the world and the world had won. Things got so overwhelming, I struggled with a sense of time. I wasn’t on top of everything. A lot of things, minor things, fell through the cracks. But, in the end, all turned out okay.
I am good now. I know what day it is. My house is clean. My to-do-list is small. I am grateful for all things little and large. And, I also have a smile on my face- with a cup of coffee in my hand.
This is how my Universe works. I have periods of good days and bad days, more good days than bad days, and the few bad days I do have, are just thrown in to balance out chaos. This is life. Understanding it, makes those bad days not so bad.
Hope everyone has a great Monday! If you are having a bad day, week, or even a month, remember better times are just around the corner. ❤