I totally missed ya’ll! For some reason, I didn’t have the heart to completely shut down Speak To The Brain. It lingered in the back of my mind while trying to venture onto new projects; new boring, “why am I doing this again,” kind of projects. I missed blogging about mental health and I have recently realized that my new projects aren’t as fun as blogging for Speak To The Brain. So, I’m back!
My Much Needed Break
I don’t entirely regret taking a break from Speak To The Brain, for that I had a lot going on (don’t we all) that required my full attention. However, the biggest reason for my break from blogging, was my oldest, who is no longer a pre-schooler, but now a full-blown Kindergartener! I, like so many other moms on this planet, was having a difficult time letting go…
My oldest was born a micro-preemie (3 months early, weighing just 1 lb) and as of this past summer, was still not up to par mentally. Basically, we worried that she wasn’t mature enough to start school. Academically, we weren’t worried; however, she still acts like a toddler with her defiant bad attitude; in which, her pediatrician feared would get her “kicked out” of Kindergarten. However, the school administrator ensured me (as if trying to make a commission sale) that all will be fine and that they certainly “do not kick kids out of Kindergarten.”
So, I spent the rest of the summer spending as much time with my oldest as possible trying to prepare her for Kindergarten (and wrapping up the wonderful baby years that I’m so very much going to miss). Unfortunately, I neglected to prepare myself for Kindergarten. I was not prepared to tackle my own social anxieties having to talk to teachers and other parents! I wasn’t ready for the pressures of PTA, parent / teacher conference, and a bunch of social school events. It’s so totally awkward!
New Content: Social Anxiety
Although I am pretty good at keeping my OCD in check, I am faced with a new mental health challenge: social anxiety!
Okay, I’ve always had social anxiety. I am the person you invite to a social gathering who kindly accepts, but can’t seem to cross over the threshold, later texting excuses and apologies for not showing up. Yup, I am that person. Although I’m much better now- I’ve learned to say “no” up front, rather than string people along on my anxiety ride.
But that’s not the issue. I am an introvert who has forgotten how to simply say, “hello.” Words either fail to come out of my mouth or awkwardly stumble out of my mouth, making me look like… a dork. Sometimes I sound rude while other times, I sound like an idiot. And most of the time, neither of us (in a two-way conversation) knows what I am talking about, with many awkward pauses in between. Obviously, my social skills are a bit rusty and apparently, I have picked up on some of my husband’s quirky social skills, in which, is driving me crazy. I am a mess! But, I guess on the bright-side, I have new content for Speak To The Brain!
Do you have social-anxiety? What are things that you struggle with socially- words, body language, or thoughts of intense judgement (or all of it)?
I totally look forward to blogging again! Please be on the look-out for some future posts and remember, your mental health matters too! Smile and breathe! ❤